Friday, September 24, 2010

intent vs impact

This morning, as I got dressed so I could take Luca to pre-school and go to the office, my kind husband cleared the table, rinsed the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. He fed Andre his breakfast and dressed Luca.

I came downstairs and the first words out of my mouth were "did you brush his teeth and put sunscreen on?" He had not. The only reason I asked was so I could do it if he had not. However, no matter what my intent was, I think the impact was different. He probably felt like he was getting dinged for not doing those two things because his reply was "I was washing the dishes and feeding Andre."

With no time left for conversation, I gave him a kiss, told him I loved him and rushed out.

Being in a hurry is no excuse. It's the little, unintended, daily actions that can build a relationship stronger or slowly deteriorate it.

Do you ever find yourself re-thinking your approach to an interaction with your partner?


  1. It sounds like you have one pretty fantastic husband. Good for you!

  2. I sure do. I am lucky to have him and work to remember that at all times!

  3. visting from the lady bloggers society. this is so true. we are in marriage counseling right now and talking about our issues like this. delivery I find is one of the hardest parts of being married.

  4. There are many times when I say things the wrong way and my husband thinks that I am belittling him. This is one of the things that I am trying to work on.