I was watching "Our Family Wedding" last night (cute and funny enough for a night in with your hubby) and one of its scenes shows the mom accidentally overhearing her two daughters talking about her. They are saying they don't want to be like their mom, spending their whole day at home taking care of kids, living their life to serve others, and getting limited romantic attention from her husband.
The daughters' conversation comes from their desire to stay independent and live a fulfilling life. Their mom is hurt when she overhears this, not because she is offended by her daughter's words, but because the words ring true.
What she does next is admirable, even if it's just a romantic movie. Instead of confronting her daughters and acting out defensively, she goes home and talks to her husband. She wants some of the romance back and she's ready to do something about it. At first he's surprised, but then he supports the shift.
Taking care of ourselves as mothers and wives is not selfish. It is about setting an example for our children. I do not have daughters, so I don't wonder if they'll one day want to avoid being like me. But I do have sons and I do wonder if they'll one day say "I don't to marry anyone like mom!" There is a life beyond motherhood that can be hard to grasp when we are tired and overextended, but it is worth the extra effort. After all, what happens after our beautiful birds leave the nest?