Monday, February 7, 2011

30 years' wait

Photo: Courtesy of LifeOgraphy

Andre is now 22 months old. He is putting 2-word phrases togehter, learning to throw tantrums, and using smiles and kisses to get what he wants (this morning it was mac and cheese for breakfast). The joy of seeing a tiny baby growing and learning to be a little person who makes choices, expresses ideas, and explores with curiosity is enormous. Yet, that joy is often accompanied by a little sadness, or maybe it's more nostalgia than anything else.

I am sure I do not want another child, and that certainty makes is certain that I will never have a tiny baby cradled in my arms, learning to smile, attempting to crawl. Having Luca and Andre as babies has been such a joy and, although toddlerhood and childhood will bring their own wonderful experiences, I cannot help but be sad about what I will never experience again. Only a short 3 years ago, I had never had a baby, and now I can't imagine my life childless. I know they will soon grow into tweens and teens, and they'll definitely not let me cradle them in my arms then! But I'm sure those years will bring their own joys and, before I know it, I'll be a grandma and the cycle of life continues.

10 comments:

  1. Visiting from SITS tonight. :)

    It's crazy how quickly life flies! I feel like I blinked and my nephew went from newborn to 6 without me even realizing it.

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  2. The older my kids get, the faster time seems to pass! I really do try to enjoy each stage of their childhood . . . it'll be over before I know it *sniff*

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  3. Visiting from SITS....and it is amazing how much one's life changes after having a child. I think it's wonderful how well you articulate treasuring the moment.

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  4. Oh, I know. My children are still small but I think about this often.

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  5. This is a beautiful post. I was saddened knowing I would stop at two too.

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  6. It's good to know what you want. And you are right. You may not have your own babies to cradle, but there will always be babies to cradle.

    My guy likes rice with yogurt for breakfast – cold. Yuck. Happy SITS day.

    LisaDay

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  7. I'm still not there yet - just trying to enjoy and appreciate my life without kids at the moment... lazy days and spontaneous outings. One day I am sure to be in your shoes and I am excited for that as well.

    Congrats on your SITS day!

    - agata.

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  8. I'm Jamie from SITS. Love your blog! This post sums up exactly how I've been feeling about my 15 month Stella! When I look at old pictures, I sometimes want to cry, yet I enjoy her growing up and developing personality. Sometimes you just want to bottle them up and save this age forever!

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  9. That picture is so magnificent.
    I miss those baby days. And those toddler days. And those kindergarten days! It all goes by so quickly. In the blink of an eye! Treasure every moment! : )

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  10. Oh, this post made tears well up in my eyes! My baby will be 18 soon! And you are right. They do multiply. My oldest daughter has 6 children. I enjoyed visiting with them yesterday and having the 3 year old just sit in my lap for the longest time. Enjoy these moments, they do pass fast!
    Bernice

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